Famewhore – Paris Hilton

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Here we are kids. The grandmother of them all.

She was famous for absolutely no tangible reason before any of us even knew what that was. Born into wealth and privilege none of us will ever know, and has done squat with it.

The Kardashians, those Jersey Shore assheads, Tila Tequila, Heidi Montag, Kanye West, The Osbornes, Taylor Swift and every other irritating fucktard we can’t exactly figure out why we know who they are at all, sprang from her gaping, overused womb.

All that came after her were simply equally shallow, vapid, utterly useless copies of her.

Also, I recently heard she was referring to herself as a DJ.

I almost pissed my pants laughing. She says that like it’s a job. No Paris. It’s not. Being a DJ is what you say you are when you still live at home with Mommy and Daddy and you don’t know how to do anything else. Being a DJ is what the retards that can’t figure out the deep fryer at Burger King do for a living.

Also, don’t you think with all your money you could afford to buy at least one more facial expression? Or a personality?

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