As a follow up to my post ‘Vagina Smuggling’, I offer this little bit of Thurdsay grossness. The Top 10 Prison Smuggling Attempts.
Florida prison officials found 17 Oxycodone pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, 1 flint, 1 empty syringe with an eraser over the needle part, 1 lip balm container, 1 condom, 1 CVS receipt, and a coupon … in Neil Lansing’s, 34, rectum.
Police in Chetumal, Mexico say a woman was caught trying to sneak her common-law husband out of a Mexican prison in a suitcase following a conjugal visit. Prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the fetal position.
Her husband is currently serving a 20-year sentence for illegal weapons possession.
A 500-lb. inmate at a Texas prison was able to sneak a gun past prison guards after cleverly using his fat flab to his advantage. George Vera smuggled an unloaded 9mm pistol past several frisks and searches by wedging the gun between his fat folds.
A Mexican prison gang all got caught hiding cell phones inside their backsides. Guards were tipped off by one of the gang member’s mother who complained to them that her son couldn’t get good reception in his cell. After not finding any cell phones in their bunks, they had them all x-rayed, where they found the devices neatly packed away. No wonder her son had crappy reception.
Three inmates and their loved ones tried to smuggle drugs into a New Jersey jail on the pages of a children’s coloring book. The drug called subozone, is normally used to treat heroin addiction but is classified as a controlled dangerous substance, and was dissolved into a paste and then painted into the coloring book. Scribbled at the top of the offending pages were the words “To Daddy”.
Charged in the case were prisoners Zachary Hirsch, Charles Markham and Paul Scipione. Also charged were Markham’s mother, Debbie Longo, of West Wildwood, New Jersey, and Katelyn Mosbach, of Trevose, Pennsylvania, who was still being sought.
Inmates and their accomplices in Colombia used trained pigeons to smuggle both drugs and cell phone parts into the prison courtyard. The plan was foiled only because prisoners got greedy and overloaded cargo, causing the pigeons to be found by police a block away from the prison.
Wealthy drug lords behind bars in a Maximum Security Federal Detention Center in Miami figured out a way to get strippers into prison. They had their expensive lawyers hire the strippers and pose them as paralegals or legal assistants. Supposedly, the women not only would take off their tops and let the men touch them, but they also snuck in items such as Playboy magazines, alcohol, and money.
Sometimes the criminals aren’t the ones behind the bars, they are the ones outside of them. Los Angeles County Sheriff deputy Henry Marin, 27, attempted to bring a heroin-stuffed burrito into a courthouse jail for an inmate. Supposedly, this wasn’t the first time the sheriff deputy engaged in this type of conduct and is now no longer watching prisoners or delivering burritos.
Michael Leon Ward from North Carolina was arrested and apparently stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum. According to police, the unloaded 10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect had been booked into a cell in the county jail and had a thorough strip search. Thankfully the gun was unloaded.
A Colorado father and his inmate son tried to come up with a plan to smuggle heroin into prison. The plan was made through a series of phone calls between the two but, little did they know, authorities were listening. The plan was for the heroin to be brought into the prison by a female accomplice and then give to the son via a mouth-to-mouth kiss. The father, Mr. Donald Denney, 56, unable to locate a woman with a clean record to visit the prison, decided he would do it himself. Needless to say, authorities were waiting, and after a search found the heroin firmly planted where it shouldn’t have been.