Famewhore – Justin Bieber

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I’ve been waiting a long time for this post.

So let me begin, as I so often do, by apologizing to the world on behalf of all Canadians, for loosing this asshat on the world. We should all hang our heads in shame.

Justin is the finest example of what I see modern music becoming. Not a person with actual talent, but someone plucked off the street and formed into this marketable image, not by someone who understands music, but by a room full of advertisers looking for a new way to make millions of little girls buy shit they don’t need or want.

It is an ad campaign on a global scale. They create this celebutard, they market it for maximum exposure, and then they start with the small, almost unoticeable product placements.

Justin drinks a Coke, at the behest and payment of the Coca-Cola company, and sales spike. Justin likes a certain brand of clothes, and suddenly it’s a profitable line. The kid is a walking billboard. The unfortunate byproduct is we have to endure his yowling.

And thats not all.

All of this attention, has caused him to develop an appetite for attention. He is no longer content to just be irritating. He’s taken being a fucktard to a whole new level.

The scrawny turd now fancies himself a thug. Seriously. I know houseplants that are more frightening then this dumbass.

I think if it came down to him, and a wet piece of toilet paper in a fight, I’d be laying my money on the Charmin. I mean really, the only thing about this kid that is actually scary is the fact that, unless he does something very retarded (please please please) we are stuck with him for the forseeable future.

Godamn it Old Man Bieber. Why couldn’t you have just settled for a blowjob back in 94 and spared us this?

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