20 Things You Should Never Say To Your Wife

1. Can’t you go buy your own tampons?

2. Do we have to invite your mother?

3. Did you put on some weight?

4. Oh not baby names again!

5. Your loofa sponge feels really nice on my balls.

6. Is it your time of month?

7. That sounds like something your mother would say.

8. Stop being so over-sensitive!

9. Can I have a sandwich?

10. Bitch

11. That’s women’s work!

12. What did you do to your hair?

13. Sorry I got you in the eye.

14. Calm down!

15. Whoa! Would you look at the tits on her!

16. Come help me light this fart.

17. Just the tip?

18. You’re not that old.

19. Would you like my opinion?

20. No

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