I Will Never Understand Women

If there’s grass on the lawn, you still shouldn’t hump the lawn chairs.

Sila Hans, 33, is charged with indecent exposure and urinating in public after Seattle cops received a complaint that she was urinating on a family’s yard and “humping” outdoor chairs, according to The Smoking Gun.

The caller alleged that Hans was going lawn and hard in full view of two children — ages 15 and 11 — who were watching from a window. After the love seat tango, Hans “exposed her vagina” and “smacked” her genital area multiple times with her hand. Officers who responded to the scene noted Hans was “extremely intoxicated.”

Lawn chairs are only the latest outdoor recreational object that allegedly led passersby into temptation. Edwin Tobergta of Hamilton, Ohio, has been accused of having sex with an inflatable pool raft not once, not twice, but three times. He also once allegedly mixed it up a bit and got nasty with an inflatable pumpkin.

Another Ohio native, Art Price, was caught on camera in 2008 allegedly getting down with a picnic table.


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