Fuck It! I’m Starting A Cult!

I’ve finally had it I think.

After years of listening to every moron out there from shitty, failed science fiction writers, to reclusive, Nike-obsessed millionaires ramble on about their visions and prophecies, I’ve finally reached my breaking point.

Every religion, faith or belief group out there spends all their time spouting craziness and insanity. I thought today what the world needs is a cult based on rational thought, sanity and science.

So my cult The Church Of The Anti-Jesus, welcomes anyone, regardless of color, gender, sexual orientation, former faith or social standing.

And the best part is, there are hardly any rules, there are no mandatory meetings or committees and I’ll never ask you for a god damn dime.

Here’s how it works. You get to believe WHATEVER YOU FUCKING WANT. The only stipulation is that whatever it is you believe it must be EVIDENCE BASED.

Man-made climate change, the medicinal uses of liquor and weed, government conspiracies, Chuck Norris or even the healing power of girl-on-girl porn. Anything you like so long as it is based on fact.

Now if you insist on maintaining faith in nonsense like the Kraken, the Bible, Zeus, the Easter Bunny or Thor, things that are NOT evidence based, then we are going to have to ask you to turn in your paper pants and go home.

And like I said earlier it costs you nothing, and there are no meetings. That’s the best part of my cult, it’ll take up so little of your time.

Sign up today!