What Single Men Don’t Know

Before you do anything, go read the funny as hell post by Skinny & Single and TheBipolarManiac here.


And now for my retort. Things single men need to know about the woman they will eventually marry.

1. They do not care who you are, just who they want to make you into.

We all know this, but the ruling matriarch doesn’t like to hear it. How many of your behaviors do you think she will passive-aggressively bleed out of you by withholding sex? Make a list. It’ll probably be a long one.

2. They perpetuate the ‘Dutch Oven’ 92% of the time.

For all the bitching I hear about this, I think I’ve been the victim of this about 10 times more often then not. This stat sounds pretty accurate. Thankfully, at least in my case, I was lucky that all the farts I was subjected to originated in her ass.

3. No anniversary or birthday gift will ever be as awesome as one her girlfriend received that one time.

I could have just as easily called this, ‘Nothing you ever do will be good enough.’ just do your best and hope for indifference instead of outright rage.

I have lots more. Keep an eye out for the next installment.


One thought on “What Single Men Don’t Know

  1. #1 and #3 – pretty much, yup. 😉 If you’re fortunate, you can retain a % of your hobbies, and the person your wife wants you to be is probably at least a decent sort of person. Gift giving is a trap, a la Admiral Ackbar. There is ALWAYS subtext read into what you do (whether or not any was actually meant), it the subtext is seldom going to be something good

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